I wrote this spell back in high school, to use on this annoying girl "A". We were in the same Anatomy/Physiology class, and when we did a unit with the dissection of sheep's eyes, I got an idea. Why pink eye? It just seemed like a good idea.

I swiped one sheep eye that had not yet been mangled by my ham handed class mates. To fix the sheep eye and have it turn into A's eye, I got a small piece of paper and rubbed it all over her desk to pick up her soul slime or uhhh "cooties". Once the sun went down, I shut off the lights and lit a candle (I think it was red). I rubbed the eye down with the paper, while connecting the eye to A. After that, I read out a description of conjunctivitis, explained why I was giving it pink eye, and closed with "And you WILL be getting pink eye, trust me."

I got out a new sewing needle, and jabbed the eye a few times, making up chants and rhymes as I went along. I took a long bamboo skewer and impaled the eye on it, just like a marshmallow. I coated the eye in Tabasco sauce, black pepper, thyme oil, aspirin powder, Cheyenne pepper, salt, lemon juice and sand. With each one, I said a little chant, and thought about the eye irritating powers of each. Then I laid down on the floor and let myself get as angry as I could. I thought about all the stupid bs A had done until it no longer made me mad. Any anger I felt, I directed at the eye.

I then used the eye ball to extinguish the candle. Let me tell you, that "ssssssss!" sound was the most satisfying noise in the world :D I took the eye off of the skewer and wrapped it up in a piece of cloth (maybe sand paper the next time) and let it sit over night. In the morning I tossed it into the sewer canal.

I didn't worry about the spell OR A, because she no longer pushed my buttons like she used to. About 3 or 4 days later, A shows up with a BAD case of pink eye, it looks like an oozing hole of puss, and she can't keep her hands off it! Har har har! The end.

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