I've given this one to people with complaints of buttinskis making bad matters worse by adding commentary where they shouldn't be.

Get a black figure candle of the appropriate sex for the offending party.

While carving an "x" over the figure's mouth incant:

"You did scream and you did shout
and put yourself in where you should have been out.
Now, in that place, I do shut your mouth."

While lighting the candle incant:

"So with your mouth shut, I bring myself peace
and now you are silent, so peace I can keep."

Let the candle burn out completely.

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