Once upon a time, along time ago, there lived a terrible sea serpent. His body was so huge that it curled all the way around the tiny islands of the pacific ocean. This terrible monster's name was Tetuna, dread lord of the sea, TeTuna. His terrible self was SO ugly and SO monstrous, that all the people of the islands were afraid to swim in the ocean unless the sea was lit up by the moon. The beautiful Lady of the moon was Hina, kind and gentle Hina, who sat upon her silver seashell throne in the sky above the oceans.

One evening, while Tetuna was swimming through his ocean, he chanced to look up and spy the beautiful Hina, sitting upon her silver seashell throne in the sky. His black heart was so filled with with lust for the maiden, he swore he must have her for his very own. That very night, as the beautiful Hina's silver seashell throne was dipping into the western waters after her long journey through the night, her attention was distracted as she waved to her brother who was rising on his golden throne in the east. Tetuna saw his opportunity, dread lord TeTuna, he of the black heart and awful countenence, saw his chance and all at once, stole the beautiful Hina off her silver seashell throne !!

He took the beautiful Hina down deep into his ocean, down deep into his lair in the sea. there he kept her prisoner until she would swear her love to him, Tetuna, Dread lord of the sea. Lovely Hina wept, her tears lost in the deep salty sea.

The people were horrified!! How could they swim in the ocean without Hina sitting upon her silver seashell throne? How could they dance and make love without the light of the moon to guide their way through the villages? The people wept and wailed.

The great hero, Maui, heard their cries. Maui was big, Maui was strong, Maui could free Hina from the lair of the dread lord TeTuna. Strong Maui, brave Maui called down to TeTuna and issued his challenge for the freedom of the lady of the moon, Hina.

TeTuna reared his great ugly self out of his ocean. He walked his great ugly self up upon the beach. He stood his great ugly self squarely in front of Maui and laughed.

And Tetuna said to Maui, " You pitiful creature, daring to challenge the great Tetuna, dread lord of the sea. When I raise my mighty crooked hand to you, you will be too scared to face me and will run away."

But Maui was not afraid. He said to Tetuna, " HA HA! You call that a fist? My hand is strong and straight and when I raise my hand to you, it will be YOU who will be scared and run away."

Then Tetuna pulled aside his lava-lava, and said to Maui," you tiny man, when i raise my mighty crooked member to you, you will be so scared you will piss all over yourself and run away."

But Maui was still not afraid. he pulled aside his lava-lava and said to Tetuna, " I may be tiny, but my member is not, when I raise my mighty straight member to you, it will be YOU who will piss all over yourself and run away"

Tetuna was getting angry now. he made himself as large as he could, blocking out the sun from the sky. Maui, on the other hand, made himself as small as he could, and tried to dart quicky through Tetuna's enormous ugly legs.

TeTuna had Maui now, the ugly Tetuna picked up the tiny Maui and popped him in his mouth and swallowed him!! Oh the people lamented, their cause was lost, they would have no moon, and no light to dance and make love by.

Suddenly Tetuna's stomach started rumbling. It rumbled and rumbled as loud as the thunder in a storm. The rumbling got louder and louder. TeTuna's belly got larger and larger. Maui was growing larger! he was growing larger and larger. He became so large, TeTuna couldnt spit him out! Then Maui became so large that TeTuna burst open. TeTuna, the dark lord of the ocean, burst into a thousand pieces. Maui had defeated TeTuna, ugly Tetuna, and saved the goddess of the moon, Hina. Maui placed Hina on her silver seashell throne, and the people danced and made lover under the skys all night. The thousand pieces of Tetuna became the fishes of the sea, and by the light of the moon, the people swim and fish in the great ocean.

Adapted by me from a story told by joseph campbell The masks of god, primitive mytholgy.

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